...It's another....
Ok...Not sure how to post this, but the pathology report was not good. Let's just say that this type of breast cancer is really hard to see. The so-called original tumor showed up as not being there under MRI after the chemo, but the pathologist said it was 5 cm. and that there were also invasive lobular cancer cells all by themselves on over 80 % of the margins. Yes, they're microscopic, but that's the nature of lobular. This can only mean that I have to have a few more surgeries. First off, a masectomy on my left side. Then radiation to the lymphs, then reconstructive--possibly with masectomy on right side at same time. I'm ready. There could be more chemo ahead, too.
Well, Fred's been sick all week. Guess this is getting to him. He didn't want me to catch it, so slept down the hall, but I couldn't stand it. I figured the guest bed is the bigger bed anyway, so, here I was, shuffling down the hall in my robe and slippers, carrying my CPAP under one arm and pillow under the other. I felt like Little Orphan Annie. No, I didn't catch any of it from him. He even had a 102.5 fever, so I made him use my shower, gave him tylenol, made him eat plain jello, (Is jello ever plain?) and his fever came down. So yesterday he went to work, only to come crashing again today. He's missed two days of work already because of this. I just don't know what I'd do without him.
I saw my oncologist today. Yes, I'm still anemic, so therefore the tummy shot. They accessed my port with absolutely NO problems or pain! I must be getting numb.
TV shows only put me to sleep. Except today's History Channel had something on snipers. I knew I wanted to watch because Fred and I were actually social friends with Carlos Hathcock. And sure enough, they had a segment on him. Any Marine knows who Carlos Hathcock is--he shot a VietCong sniper through his scope from several hundred yards. I'd met his wife through the USS Simon Lake Enlisted Wives Club in the early 70's. I was President at that time. His small Marine detachment was assigned to the Simon Lake. I did not know what he had achieved in Vietnam. In fact, we did not know that until we'd read an article in the Sunday paper about him in the late 80's. Carlos was very unassuming. I knew there was something great about him because of the inordinate respect that his Marines displayed for him. He had just a few marksman plaques on his wall in their home, and simply said he was a good marksman. I remember one time going through a case or two of Strawberry Hill with him and his men in a park at Rota, Spain! Well, we were celebrating the success of the Easter Egg Hunt that we'd just put on for the ship's dependents. Ah, memories!
We felt very honored to be invited to his farewell party. He'd contracted MS, and was getting an early medical retirement. Looking back, everyone else in that room knew of his heroism except for Fred and me. We just knew him and his wife as simply great human beings who were deeply loved. Of course, we got together again when we got stationed in Norfolk, VA, but lost contact after Fred got out of the service and we'd become civilians. Carlos passed away in 1999.
Well, Fred's been sick all week. Guess this is getting to him. He didn't want me to catch it, so slept down the hall, but I couldn't stand it. I figured the guest bed is the bigger bed anyway, so, here I was, shuffling down the hall in my robe and slippers, carrying my CPAP under one arm and pillow under the other. I felt like Little Orphan Annie. No, I didn't catch any of it from him. He even had a 102.5 fever, so I made him use my shower, gave him tylenol, made him eat plain jello, (Is jello ever plain?) and his fever came down. So yesterday he went to work, only to come crashing again today. He's missed two days of work already because of this. I just don't know what I'd do without him.
I saw my oncologist today. Yes, I'm still anemic, so therefore the tummy shot. They accessed my port with absolutely NO problems or pain! I must be getting numb.
TV shows only put me to sleep. Except today's History Channel had something on snipers. I knew I wanted to watch because Fred and I were actually social friends with Carlos Hathcock. And sure enough, they had a segment on him. Any Marine knows who Carlos Hathcock is--he shot a VietCong sniper through his scope from several hundred yards. I'd met his wife through the USS Simon Lake Enlisted Wives Club in the early 70's. I was President at that time. His small Marine detachment was assigned to the Simon Lake. I did not know what he had achieved in Vietnam. In fact, we did not know that until we'd read an article in the Sunday paper about him in the late 80's. Carlos was very unassuming. I knew there was something great about him because of the inordinate respect that his Marines displayed for him. He had just a few marksman plaques on his wall in their home, and simply said he was a good marksman. I remember one time going through a case or two of Strawberry Hill with him and his men in a park at Rota, Spain! Well, we were celebrating the success of the Easter Egg Hunt that we'd just put on for the ship's dependents. Ah, memories!
We felt very honored to be invited to his farewell party. He'd contracted MS, and was getting an early medical retirement. Looking back, everyone else in that room knew of his heroism except for Fred and me. We just knew him and his wife as simply great human beings who were deeply loved. Of course, we got together again when we got stationed in Norfolk, VA, but lost contact after Fred got out of the service and we'd become civilians. Carlos passed away in 1999.
2 Comments:
Oh, Margaret! I don't know what to say either, other than I am so sorry the report was not better than it was. I gather from reading your posts that you are a tough lady (OK, I know you don't like IV needles - but other than that), and you CAN handle this and get through it. I am sure this is hard on Fred too. I think it is always more difficult for the caregiver as they sometimes feel so helpless. He has to take care of himself, too. Praying even more often for both of you now. Hang in there.
Heh there Margaret. Sorry about the report. Glad you have "your Fred" to get you through this ordeal. I can't believe you have the energy to write this wonderful blog, hope it is theraputic. Take care old work friend! Thinking of you often.
Peggy D
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