Roll Your Eyes!
Yes, I finished radiation on the 9th of August. I was so excited about not having to see some medical person every day, that I forgot I had an appointment with my Oncologist the very next day. So much for the "Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!"
We rescheduled it for a week later, and this time I remembered to show up. He's brought in a partner, so we had our introductory heart to heart talk. He passed my rigorous criteria, and I will see him again next month. No labs, but will next month.
I'm still not cleared to return to work, and will be off most of September. For me, I need the rest. Fatigue is an interesting animal. When that's about all you know, you don't even know you have it. It wasn't until one of my online CLL friends put it into words: Fatigue is like having another person inside you desparately trying to go to sleep while you're struggling to stay awake to get some things done. And I can tell you that the things I actually accomplish are a mighty tussle.
Tuesday, I had my initial consultation with the plastic surgeon. It was the worst experience I've ever had. He said, "I can't, and I won't do it!" His excuse was that I did not have enough tissue for it, it's a 10-hour surgery, and it wouldn't be worth it. I've never been told that I don't have ENOUGH tissue for ANYTHING! He further said, "You ought to be glad you haven't died from your cancer." He really didn't give me any hope or suggestions, just told me I should go to the University of WA for a second opinion. Yet his office couldn't offer any names or direction on where to start. He even commented, "Whoa, look at that!" to his nurse when they saw my scarlet red radiated left side.
I was utterly devastated. It still hurts when I think about the encounter. Thankfully, one of my Bosom Buddies had a picnic planned for that night, so I had some genuine support right away, but I still had to drive from one end of town to the other to get there. I also let my oncologist know what had transpired, and he told me to go see Dr. so and so.
Here, the hope of reconstruction had lessened the horror of the bilateral. I knew I couldn't do it until next summer, that there would still be scars, but just the idea that I could look somewhat normal at a future date was some of what's sustained me throughout all this.
Finally, most of the skin in the radiation area has peeled, and those parts look almost normal. Ok....slightly tanned. The rest around the incision and under my arm are still pretty red and sensitive. Silvadene is such a refreshing, cooling salve for the burns. Just messy on the clothes, though.
Staying close to the phone for word of my new grandson's arrival....(He's due right NOW!)
Till next time....Love ya!
We rescheduled it for a week later, and this time I remembered to show up. He's brought in a partner, so we had our introductory heart to heart talk. He passed my rigorous criteria, and I will see him again next month. No labs, but will next month.
I'm still not cleared to return to work, and will be off most of September. For me, I need the rest. Fatigue is an interesting animal. When that's about all you know, you don't even know you have it. It wasn't until one of my online CLL friends put it into words: Fatigue is like having another person inside you desparately trying to go to sleep while you're struggling to stay awake to get some things done. And I can tell you that the things I actually accomplish are a mighty tussle.
Tuesday, I had my initial consultation with the plastic surgeon. It was the worst experience I've ever had. He said, "I can't, and I won't do it!" His excuse was that I did not have enough tissue for it, it's a 10-hour surgery, and it wouldn't be worth it. I've never been told that I don't have ENOUGH tissue for ANYTHING! He further said, "You ought to be glad you haven't died from your cancer." He really didn't give me any hope or suggestions, just told me I should go to the University of WA for a second opinion. Yet his office couldn't offer any names or direction on where to start. He even commented, "Whoa, look at that!" to his nurse when they saw my scarlet red radiated left side.
I was utterly devastated. It still hurts when I think about the encounter. Thankfully, one of my Bosom Buddies had a picnic planned for that night, so I had some genuine support right away, but I still had to drive from one end of town to the other to get there. I also let my oncologist know what had transpired, and he told me to go see Dr. so and so.
Here, the hope of reconstruction had lessened the horror of the bilateral. I knew I couldn't do it until next summer, that there would still be scars, but just the idea that I could look somewhat normal at a future date was some of what's sustained me throughout all this.
Finally, most of the skin in the radiation area has peeled, and those parts look almost normal. Ok....slightly tanned. The rest around the incision and under my arm are still pretty red and sensitive. Silvadene is such a refreshing, cooling salve for the burns. Just messy on the clothes, though.
Staying close to the phone for word of my new grandson's arrival....(He's due right NOW!)
Till next time....Love ya!
3 Comments:
That plastic surgeon is an insensitive, ignorant fool. You should be glad he wouldn't take you as a patient. I can't believe some of these so-called professionals. Aaargh! You will find the right doctor for you -- one who will treat you with the respect you deserve.
I think you should just rest and enjoy having September off. You have been through quite an ordeal and are still recovering. So glad the treatment is done. I admire your bravery and fortitude throughout. I appreciate you sharing with all of us.
God Bless and I pray you will keep gaining strength each and every day.
Thank you, John, for being a steady force and inspiration for me. Thank you, also, for your kind words. With what we've been going through, (and surviving it), I'm starting to think we can do just about ANYTHING! Only, I'll wait until October. ;-) Best to you and your family.
Margaret-
I agree with your friend John. One of the spokane plastice surgeons that I saw said the same thing to me. It was awful... but keep the faith and keep getting other consultations- you will find the perfect doctor for you-
Don't those Bosom Buddies Rock!
Lisa Mehring
Survivor Chick
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